BeatleBangs1964 2007-04-05
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
It has been proven that autism does run in families. Carlene Inge describes shadow traits in herself; prior to marriage and motherhood, she could not, in her words see how anybody could leave their church and issues were clearly deliniated in black and white ("it either is or it is not") with minimal shades of gray. This is not to say she is on the spectrum; rather it is to say that very (in her words) "rigid" thinking and not catching the gray tones in between is very typical among the autism/Asperger's (a/A) population.
This is a wonderful book by a mother of two sons on the (a/A) spectrum. The book focuses on her older son, Joshua who was born in 1997. Joshua was misdiagnosed with muscular dystrophy as a baby; fortunately the Inges pursued other treatment avenues and learned that their child did not have muscular dystrophy. He was diagnosed as a preschooler with Asperger's.
Joshua had sensory issues; he liked to wear soft clothing such as sweats. Toys were largely ignored by him; however, he did like to have them placed strategically in a room in the order he assigned them.
One thing that bothered me was that when Joshua was bestowed with lavish toys from infancy was how the adults reacted to his disinterest in the toys. Since he was the first child and grandchild, it was only natural to want to give him lavish gifts. Since the adults mourned over Josh's lack of spontaneous interest in the toys, it does beg the question of who were the toys really for - the boy or for the adults and the response they hoped to get.
Josh's stoic tolerance of unpleasant activities such as daycare and early birthday parties speaks to a very accepting side. Since the child's mother told him what the expectations were, he apparently felt he had no option but to endure the activity in question. I like the way Carlene Inge realized that birthday parties were too overwhelming for Josh; the noise, kids and confusion were more than he could tolerate. I loved the way she learned to adjust celebrating Josh's birthday as a "family day," where the boy gets her undivided attention and is allowed to pick out a fun activity. That sounded like an ideal approach for him.
The balloon metaphor is especially meaningful in this particular book. As a toddler, Josh loved to release helium balloons and watch them float away. Carlene Inge sees in this simple act of joy through release a form of letting go and letting God. That is such an important life lesson and an important reminder.
Joshua's brother Noah, some 2 years Joshua's junior was also described as having autistic behaviors. He had serious sensory issues, particularly oral sensitivity and was largely nonverbal. Very little is said about Noah; one wonders where he is on the continuum today and about his overall progress.
At the close of this book, Josh, then 9 was an avid, enthusiastic member of a local baseball team and a Star Wars afficionado. His interests are listed and described; special interests are so often a hallmark of a/A spectrum conditions. Readers feel as if they have been lifted on eagle's wings as Josh's progress is outlined in this book.
I love the way God is mentioned and recognized throughout the book; the kind people whose generosity and simple courtesies are recognized as acts of Christian compassion or "Jesus in disguise;" the inclusion of faith sharing and the many ways God is described in the book as making lemonade out of lemons. My favorite aspect of this book is the inclusion of God and how compassion and acceptance opened many doors to Josh and Noah.
This book reminds me of the 1980 Pete Townshend classic, "Let My Love Open the Door (to your heart)." God's love has indeed opened many doors to many hearts and this book is yet another passageway.
Ideal companion book to Just This Side of Normal: Glimpses into Life With Autism .
